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When God likes someone, He has a reason. When God says He doesn’t like someone, He also has a good reason. So why didn’t God like Abraham’s grandson Esau?
The Torah reading תולדות Toldot (“generations,” Genesis 25:19–28:9) and its companion passage in Malachi 1 teach us about Esau’s character and insight — or lack thereof — as well as his understanding of his own parents. We also will understand why God wanted Esau and Jacob — and their descendants — to live separately.
Based on what we read about Esau’s descendants in Scriptures in later years, it’s because Esau did not teach his children properly as Abraham had done. We see that Esau’s descendants did not walk in Abraham’s footsteps, including one of Esau’s most infamous descendants, King Herod. He’s the king who ordered the murder of toddlers in Beit Lechem (Bethlehem) to stamp out the Messiah’s threat to his reign.
Abraham was still alive in Esau and Jacob were born, and they were about 15 years old when Abraham died. They would have been raised with Abraham as a significant figure in their lives for their first 15 years of life.
As we know, the Torah says that the first-born son is supposed to get the double portion of the father’s estate, but we know (from the revelation in Scripture) that Jacob valued those things more than Esau.
Eager for the hunt
Esau was more of a hunter-gathering personality. He preferred to survive by his own hands. Jacob, on the other hand, valued Isaac’s and Abraham’s house. God did not call Abraham’s family to live off the land as hunter-gatherers, He blessed them with flocks and herds so they would not need to live as hunter-gatherers but Esau preferred the adrenaline rush of the hunter-gatherer life. Esau preferred to live in the here and now, while Jacob preferred to live for the future. That is the difference between life in the flesh flesh and life in the spirit.
“When the boys grew up, Esau became a skillful hunter, a man of the field, but Jacob was a peaceful man, living in tents. Now Isaac loved Esau, because he had a taste for game, but Rebekah loved Jacob. When Jacob had cooked stew, Esau came in from the field and he was famished; and Esau said to Jacob, “Please let me have a swallow of that red stuff there, for I am famished.” Therefore his name was called Edom. But Jacob said, “First sell me your birthright.” Esau said, “Behold, I am about to die; so of what use then is the birthright to me?” And Jacob said, “First swear to me”; so he swore to him, and sold his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau bread and lentil stew; and he ate and drank, and rose and went on his way. Thus Esau despised his birthright.”
Genesis 25:27–34 NASB
Esau is being melodramatic here. Esau had already made it all the way home after his long hunting trip. Esau lived in a household with many servants to help take care of his needs. Esau was not tricked by Jacob at all. Esau reasoned that the large bowl of lentil soup Jacob was offering, was of greater value to him than the birthright that he logically believed Isaac would offer him in the future on his deathbed.
Envy: the art of counting someone else’s blessings, rather than your own
Isaac knew the reputation of the Philistines. After all the first thing they ask him is “Who’s that woman with you?” Isaac’s fear that the Philistines would kill him to take his wife is not unfounded especially since Abimelech had to issue an edit of protection for them once he found out that Isaac and Rebekah were husband and wife. If the Philistines did not have a habit of coveting other men’s wives, Abimelech would not have needed to make such a law in the first place.
The Philistines envied Isaac in a way they didn’t envy Abraham because Abraham was primarily a shepherd, while Isaac had skills as both a farmer and a shepherd. Every time Isaac had planted a well and crops, the Philistines would simply push Isaac out and steal his work. The Philistines were not willing to examine closely the question as to why God abundantly blessed Isaac in whatever he set his mind to, while their gods did not bless them the same way.
We see the same thing today with the Palestinians. The land of Israel produces 30, 60 and even 100 fold in areas where Jewish people work the land, but in the lands that the Palestinians control, the land does not give them the same bounty and blessing it gives to the Jews. The Palestinians, just like the Philistines before them, also lack the willingness to examine their religion to see why God blesses the Jews in the Land with abundant produce and substanance, and not them.
Calamity of being ‘unequally yoked’
In Isaac’s home, Rebekah was the one who really ruled the house, as did Sarah before her, even though Sarah called Abraham “Lord.” In reality, it is the wife who rules the house, not the husband.
When we look at Esau and his choice of wives, we see who Esau chose to maintain his house. He chose Hittite/Canaanite to rule his home. The Canaanite way of life was totally opposed to how Rebekah ruled her house and this was a constant source of friction as Rebekah was a servant of Yehovah, while Esau’s Hittite wives were idolators. This friction made Rebekah’s life miserable.
When you marry someone who is unfit for marriage, you profane the institution of marriage. We don’t look at it that way, but God does. Esau chose two women who were not fitting for him. Men use their strength and wisdom to correct his children. Women used their affection and comfort to discipline their children. Both husband and wife have different tools to train their children.
This is even more relevant when we study Esau’s household, as he was a hunter-gatherer so he was away from home even more often than most men would be and the mothers would have had even more influence on their children than they would have if Esau had been more of a homebody, as Jacob was.
Isaac lived for at least 60 more years after he gives the blessing to Jacob, but Isaac didn’t know that at the time. Both Isaac and Rebekah were not fools. They both knew what God had told Rebekah about who was to inherit the birthright blessing from Abraham.
When Isaac saw that Jacob had stolen the blessing, he was not trembling in fear of Esau or Rebekah, he was trembling in fear of God because Isaac knew that his attempt to give this blessing to Esau, was in direct disobedience to God’s command to give that blessing to Jacob.
Easiest person to fool is yourself
Esau perceives that he was tricked by Jacob both times but Esau only tricked himself and is living in self-delusion. Esau’s anger towards Jacob was a divine work because God wanted to separate the brothers from each other.
Matthew 10:16-39 discusses how persecution could happen even within the family. When we read this, we can see how this is similar to what happened to Jacob and Esau. Jacob and Esau did not really believe in the same God.
““Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. “For I came to SET A MAN AGAINST HIS FATHER, AND A DAUGHTER AGAINST HER MOTHER, AND A DAUGHTER-IN-LAW AGAINST HER MOTHER-IN-LAW; and A MAN’S ENEMIES WILL BE THE MEMBERS OF HIS HOUSEHOLD.
Matthew 10:34–39 NASB
“He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. “And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. “He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it.”
God was responsible for this division, not the people themselves. He divided Esau and Jacob when they were in the womb but this division was accomplished in full when Jacob left Isaac’s home for Padam-Aram. He did it for His sake, not for the sake of Jacob, Esau or Jacob’s descendants, although Rebekah assumed the separation was for Jacob’s safety. The greatness of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob was not their own, but God’s. God is the one who pushes people away and brings them close.
In Gen. 28:1, Isaac realized that Jacob received the blessing, the birthright and that Jacob rightfully deserved both. Jacob and Esau did not know Sarah personally.
By the time Jacob and Esau were born, Abraham was now married to Keturah, who was most likely a Canaanite woman. So, Esau probably thought that it would be fine for him to marry a Canaanite, too. However, Abraham had given all his household to Isaac, the son of Sarah, who was NOT a Canaanite. Abraham sent his sons with Keturah away with gifts, but not with any form of birthright or status in his family. God would not give His blessing to a son of a Canaanite.
Isaac blesses Jacob by calling him to retrace Abraham’s footsteps in reverse. It’s only after Jacob leaves that Esau finally realizes that it wasn’t good for him to marry these Canaanite women. What does he do next? He decides to take a third wife, by bringing a daughter of Ishmael into his household.
What good did that do since Esau’s first wife and the first son born are the heirs of the household. Marrying this third wife, even though her bloodline was far superior to that of the Hittie women, was too little, too late. Esau’s Ishmaelite wife would never have any authority or status in Esau’s household that would change the course of Esau’s family towards righteousness.
Malachi 1: Esau did not value righteousness
The parallel passage (haftarah) for Toledot is Malachi 1:1–2:7. The first verses (Mal 1:1-5) give us much more insight into the personality of Esau and his household and how God was very wise to choose Jacob as the favored son.
God did not “hate” Esau in the sense of total loathing and disgust. God’s “hatred” of Esau was more subtle than that. Esau thought he could rebuild his household just by marrying an Ishmaelite wife after he had already married two Hittite women, but adding more wives to his household did nothing to improve the spirit of Esau’s house.
“‘A son honors his father, and a servant his master. Then if I am a father, where is My honor? And if I am a master, where is My respect?’ says the LORD of hosts to you, O priests who despise My name. But you say, ‘How have we despised Your name?'”
Malachi 1:6 NASB
Esau did not value what God valued. Esau was a very self-centered man and had no thought for the future, he only cared about the here and now. Esau’s actions did not honor God.
Those who only care about the here and now are the ones who would offer God blind and lame animals on his altar that they would never offer to a king or governor because the king or governor would strike them dead for their disgrace. Those who look to the future, give God (and the authorities) their best.
But God still calls the descendants of Esau to return to Him. He can’t give them the status of the first born that He has given to Jacob but He will welcome them into His household if they will fear and obey Him.
God valued Abraham and Sarah because He knew they would teach Isaac how to walk in His ways and be godly. God’s purpose of marriage is to bring up Godly children who fear Him. This is what God wanted of Esau too, but Esau married Hittite women who did not fear God and tainted his family line with idolatry and disloyalty.
Esau was not the innocent victim of Jacob’s conspiracy. Esau knew that he didn’t value his birthright or his blessing. God separated Jacob and Esau for very good reasons. God will take care of your future if you follow Him faithfully, which is what we see in the Torah reading Vayetze, as Jacob as he travels to Rebekah’s family in Padam-Aram and meets Rakhel (Rachel).
Summary: Tammy